The Girl Next Door
by Holly Dunne
Summary: Johanna finds herself more than a little eager to get to know the new girl who's just moved in next door. Very AU Joniss. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

I ruffled the tips of my fingers against my fringe and sighed a silent _'that'll have to do,'_ as I took one final look in the mirror. This week had seemed to drag on for twice as long as every other week; my body still trying to adapt to the cold, dark mornings which zapped all life out of me before I'd even gotten out of the flat. Don't get me wrong, there are parts of autumn which I adore. Like the crunch of the brittle leaves beneath my feet as I walk to work. That sound is almost therapeutic. And the frenzied copper tornadoes which surround me on my walk home - the whiz of colours and the almost _dance_ the leaves do as they're captured by the wind. There's no denying there's a definite beauty that comes with the autumn.

But it's just that everything seems to be tired and practically drained of energy in the colder months. Not like during the summer when people get together to take walks or play sports or have picnics. Everyone seems to have a smile across their face and energy in their veins. Even the trees and the birds are full of life in the summer. The sunlight brings out the life in people. It sparks the opportunity for adventure; it inspires people to create memories.

Not like the later months, the colder, darker months. They seem to drag and nothing seems to change.

I looked at my phone to see that it was nearly eight and I hadn't had anything to drink yet. I was planning on being at least a little tipsy by nine. I wandered out from my bedroom and into the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing several beers to place on the kitchen side. I popped the top from one of the bottles and took a long swig, sighing as the warmth travelled down my throat and spread immediately to the tips of my fingers and toes. It's crazy, come to think of it, the effect alcohol can have. The liquid now racing through my body was as powerful as a wave as it crashes against a shore; smothering what was there before and washing away the bad stuff. But similarly, the feeling of unwinding that alcohol brings, the loss of inhibition, is as soothing as the gentle lapping of a wave, steady and free. Not a care or obstruction in the way.

I loved my job, co-managing a local record store; but this week had been _exhausting_. The late nights I'd been putting in had meant I'd had to pretty much forget about having a life outside of work. Not that I had much of one anyway. But, it was Friday night now and I was work free until Monday morning, so I was definitely planning on making the most of it. Tonight I could get crazy drunk and enjoy myself. Then tomorrow night I could eat my weight in junk food and sleep until noon the next day. I swigged down the rest of my beer and smiled to myself at the prospect.

A knocking at the door interrupted me from my thoughts. I checked my phone and rolled my eyes_. 8:15._ Right on time, as always.

I swung open the door and smiled slimly at the ever so slightly smaller girl who was leaning against the door frame, grinning back at me. Her light brown hair, which currently had various blondish tones running through it, was swept away from her face in a messy, low ponytail, revealing her dark makeup covered hazel-brown eyes and deep red lips.

"Hey, you." She chirped, looking me up and down with wide eyes, drinking in the sight of me as though she hadn't seen me in months. It's not like I looked anything special in my skin tight leather pants and baggy white t shirt, but by now I was used to the other woman looking at me as though I was the most incredible thing to ever grace this planet.

"Cassie." I replied with a similar chirp, although the sentiment in my own exclaim didn't quite reach my eyes. She didn't seem to notice though, stopping to kiss me (lightly, to avoid staining my pale pink lips with her lipstick) as she walked past me and into my kitchen. I closed the door behind her and followed her back in, sliding a beer across the counter towards her as I picked up my own fresh bottle, opened it and took several swigs.

I'd known Cassie since I was twenty three; so for two years now. We'd met in a bar in town and hooked up that same night - me thinking it was just a one off, but her having _different_ ideas. Breakfast the next morning had turned into dinner the next week, which turned into sleeping together for a second time... then a third time and then a fourth. The sex was good. Definitely the best I'd had. But, something just wasn't quite there. There wasn't that earth shatteringly, incredible passion that you read about in books or see on movies. It wasn't even close.

For some reason she just didn't make me feel the way I think you're supposed to feel. There was no desperation to see her. No sweaty palms or erratic heartbeat. No butterflies in my stomach. There was no _spark_. And you can't create a fire without a spark.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed her company. She had a good sense of humour and her interests were similar to mine, especially when it came to music. We got on really well. Not to mention the fact that she's not exactly harsh on the eyes. To be honest, she's actually quite stunning.

And so we'd been sleeping with each other for two years now. Sometimes going out on dates, sometimes her staying over at my flat and ordering Chinese food, and there were times when she was literally just a booty call after a long day at work. It sounds harsh, but it worked for the both of us. No major commitments, no serious feelings and we were allowed to see other people. We rarely did see other people though, considering we both struggled in finding the time to go out. But I'd had sex with a few other girls in the past couple of years. All of them had been nothing but drunken one night stands. Cassie being the only person I'd ever slept with, who I felt anything towards. And still, even she was little more than a friend to me. I cared about her, of course, but not in the way she wanted me to. She'd just become routine. Just like everything else in my life. Routine.

She knew it as well. She knew I was bored. She knew I didn't feel for her the way she couldn't help but feel for me. If it was up to her, Cassie would drop everything at the click of my fingers and be with me, properly. But that would never work. It would only push me further away. I couldn't give her what she wanted, because no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't force myself to love her. Luckily she got that though. She didn't try and force me to feel that way for her. She accepted this thing, for whatever it was, and however confusing it may be.

The mental connection was there. The physical connection was definitely there. But the emotional connection - that was one sided.

"How've you been, Jo?" She asked, placing her beer bottle down and pulling her ponytail around to hang over her chest. I walked over to the bin and threw my empty bottles in with a clang, leaning on the kitchen counter opposite the fair haired girl. She looked particularly pretty tonight, dressed in a blue and grey, floral, casual dress and leather jacket. With thick grey socks resting just higher than her black biker boots came to. Maybe pretty wasn't quite the right word, considering her outfit, but I'd known her too long for her to manage to really _excite_ me anymore. She'd never be the kind of girl who managed to turn my head from a crowd, although considering how attractive she actually was, I'm sure she'd be that girl for a lot of people at the club tonight. I guess it was as though she was this perfect girl, with no faults and no flaws, but yet she just wasn't perfect for _me._

"Fine." I replied, popping the top from another beer. "It's been a long week." I ran my fingers through my hair, smirking as Cassie absent mindedly ogled at the exposure of skin above my pant line as I lifted my arm. "I'm exhausted, but I'm looking forward to going out tonight. It's definitely well needed."

"Mmm, yeah me too." I chuckled as she snapped out of her daze, whipping her stare back up to my brown orbs. She gulped down a few mouthfuls of her drink and then rubbed her red lips together, shaking her head slightly as though to shake away any thoughts she was having. "The gig starts at half eight doesn't it?"

"Yeah. We should probably leave."

We quickly finished our beers and I slipped on my shoes, grabbing my phone and purse from the side. The club where the gig was being held was just around the corner from my flat, so we could walk to and from and it would only take a few minutes. It just so happened to be the club where me and Cassie had met too, and considering it was mainly a gay attraction, it was where I ended up meeting most of my other hook ups too. I'd be surprised if I didn't run into any of them tonight.

I turned out the lights and followed the other woman out the door, shutting it behind me and twisting the key in the lock. It was pretty dark out in the corridor, nothing but the faint glare of a street lamp interrupting the night sky and seeping through the window by the stairs. I walked just a couple of steps behind Cassie but stopped in my tracks as I noticed the soft thud of rain against the window. The club was only a couple of roads away, but I was wearing nothing but a cotton t shirt.

"You go ahead; I'll meet you downstairs by the door. I'm just gonna grab my jacket."

I ran back inside and took my jacket from the arm of the chair, hurrying back out the door and locking it again behind me. I whipped back around and paced down the corridor, swinging my jacket over my shoulders, not looking where I was going as I did so.

I gasped as I went crashing, full force, straight into someone, knocking their box full of belongings onto the floor. Books and small ornaments spilled out and rolled around the space beneath of our feet. Thankfully none of the ornaments appeared to be damaged.

"Shit. Sorry." I shrunk down without hesitation, grabbing the spilled contents and placing them back into the cardboard box as quickly as I could. So quickly in fact, that the other person stayed stood upright, not having much of a chance to help me in picking up the things. I glanced quickly at the pair of feet stood before me as I grabbed the now full again box, noticing that they belonged to a female.

I rose up again, with the box in my hand, passing it back over to the owner and finally dragging my eyes up past the skinny jeans and flannel shirt to meet the face of whoever I'd bumped into.

I froze immediately. My eyes widening and my teeth taking my gum hard between their bite. I swallowed hard before I cleared my throat, attempting to shake the effects of what seemed like the lightning bolt which had hit me. That was the only way to describe it. That's what it felt like. The moment my eyes collided with hers, it was as though I'd been struck by lightning. The things I was feeling were so powerful, so intense that I couldn't escape them. I didn't even know this girls name, yet it felt as though she'd cracked open my chest and turned me inside out. I felt like she could see from the outside, the way my heart was beating faster than it ever had before. I felt like she could see my stomach as it tied itself in knots, squeezing tighter and tighter by the second.

I cleared my throat again, and tried to erase the flush which I could feel covering my cheeks. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. I'd met my fair share of attractive women, but none of them had ever left me at a loss for words. Never mind a girl who I hadn't even spoken to yet.

"Thank you." The girl finally spoke, a hint of a giggle evident behind her voice as she hoisted the box up slightly firmer into her grip. She was beautiful, breathtakingly so. She looked younger than me; she was probably around about twenty, twenty one. Her eyes were a gorgeous grey colour, a shade I'd never seen before. A shade I couldn't help but think I'd like to get used to seeing. She had brown hair, just a little lighter than my own, and it was swept into a messy braid which hung in front of her shoulder. There were several pieces hanging lose and framing her features too. And she was taller than me, probably by about three or four inches. "Do you live on this floor? I've just moved in..." She checked her key and then gestured to the door next to my own, "Number 27."

"Looks like we're neighbours then," I answered as casually as possible, trying to ignore the palpitations which were racing against my chest. "I'm Johanna. I live next door, in number 26." I reached out my hand and the taller girl bent down and placed her belongings on the floor, before coming back up shaking my hand with what I couldn't help but notice was a hint of timidity. I silently cursed myself as my body betrayed me, shuddering slightly from the contact with the other girl. What the fuck was going on with me? Why was this girl having such an embarrassing effect over me?

Thankfully she seemed completely oblivious, which was good considering now I was probably going to be seeing a lot more of her.

"Katniss." The other woman replied, offering her name. I must have automatically furrowed my eyebrows in confusion or something because she giggled and offered an explanation. "It's some kind of plant from back home. It was my Dad's favourite."

I smiled in response and opened my mouth to continue when I heard my name being called from a distance. A few seconds later, Cassie came bounding around the corner, stopping in her tracks when she caught sight of me and the taller woman.

"Oh, there you are." She muttered, with a slight annoyance evident across her voice. Or more likely it was jealousy. Poor girl.

"Yeah, sorry... I just, bumped into my new neighbour here." I could barely take my eyes away from Katniss as I spoke. Thankfully she was now looking at Cassie as she walked over to stand next to me, but I could feel the eyes of my date bearing into me. She'd noticed the way I was looking at the other woman. I whipped my stare to the fair haired girl and smiled nonchalantly. "Cassie this is Katniss. Katniss, Cassie."

...

I rolled over and rubbed against my eyes sleepily, groaning as the throbbing in my head became more prominent. I'd spent all of Saturday day drifting in and out of sleep; my encounter with the new girl next door being present in both states of mind. I was terrible for hangovers, and the Jaeger bombs at two in the morning hadn't helped at all. But they'd been necessary in helping to shake the girl who seemed to have intrigued me so much from my thoughts.

I hadn't even had sex with Cassie. I couldn't have had sex with Cassie. It wouldn't have been fair, considering I was pretty sure it would be someone else's face I saw when I closed my eyes. She seemed okay about it though, thankfully she thought I was just too drunk. And in terms of Katniss, she laughed that off - thinking she was just another one of what she liked to call my '_love at first sight straight girl crushes._' Which I _suppose_ she was. But there was something different about this one. I didn't even know the girl, but there was just something which felt a lot more than just a silly crush. I had those all the time. I'd always set my eye on someone, and then usually that next morning I'd wake up next to them. Katniss was _different_. She hadn't just caught my attention because she was attractive. I didn't just want to rip her clothes from her back and then never see her again. It hadn't felt like that. I couldn't quite explain it, but she'd literally captivated me. I mean, for fucks sake, it was nine o'clock the next evening and she was still all I could think about.

I stumbled out of bed and headed to the bathroom, stripping out of my clothes and running the shower. I had mounds of paperwork that needed to be done for Monday, so I needed to make a start on it tonight really. I exhaled as the warm water caressed every inch of my body, washing away the smell of alcohol and cigarettes, and replacing it with sweet vanilla as I massaged the soap into lather against my skin. I inhaled the sugary aroma and the combination of the raspberry smelling shampoo which ran down through my hair and over my breasts before splashing against the tiles beneath me. It took a lot of convincing before I was able to tear myself from the bliss of the shower, but I needed coffee desperately. Coffee was the best cure for a hangover.

I brushed my teeth and slipped into some comfy sweats and a jumper before running the dryer through my short hair for a few moments. I felt better already having gotten showered and dressed, but caffeine and paracetamol were definitely needed.

Cassie had left sometime this morning without me noticing, but I smiled as I saw the tablets and orange vitamin drink she'd left on the counter for me. She knew I'd be feeling worse for wear considering she'd practically had to undress me, in a way completely the opposite of what she'd most likely been wanting to do, and put me to bed. I made a mental note to give her a call before I went back to sleep again.

I swallowed the medicine and gulped down the drink, just in time as the kettle clicked, signalling the water was boiled. I heaped in a couple of spoonfuls of coffee and a slightly smaller amount of sugar into my mug, before reaching down into the fridge to get the milk.

"Fucks sake." I groaned. I'd completely forgotten to get milk on my way home from work the night before. I couldn't drink coffee black, and I was in no fit state to be walking for fifteen minutes to the nearest shop.

I drummed my fingers against the kitchen counter for a few moments, contemplating whether or not it was appropriate for me to knock on Katniss' door and ask if she had any she could spare. It wouldn't have been such a hard decision if I'd known whether I was debating paying my new neighbour a visit because I was that desperate for milk, or just that desperate to see her again.

The smell of the coffee which was filling my nostrils was enough to entice me into deciding on knocking at her door. Never mind the pile of papers which I could see on the table from the corner of my eye. And there was no denying I was eager to get to know this intriguing and unmistakably gorgeous girl next door anyway. But bothering her late on a Saturday night, the day after she'd moved in, looking probably even worse than I felt and asking to borrow milk when we'd barely had one conversation, was not how I'd anticipated our next meeting.

...

I curled up my fist and knocked my knuckles against the wood three times, much lighter than I'd usually knock. I twiddled with my thumbs nervously as I heard the blurring noise of her television come to a halt and the sound of footsteps steadily approaching.

I'd changed out of my sweatpants and into black leggings, but left my maroon coloured comfy jumper on. My face was of course make-up free; I wasn't really one for wearing heaps of makeup anyway, apart from my almost permanently tattooed wings of charcoal eyeliner, which were for once absent. I'd thrown my hair up into a bun with my fringe left down and messy, making as much effort to look completely casual and careless about my visit as I could.

This could go one of two ways. Either Katniss would be friendly and laugh at my request, then insist that it was absolutely no trouble at all for me to ask. _Or _she'd think I'm a total freak who rudely came to disturb her and ask for an inappropriate favour, leaving her in an awkward position and probably feeling forced to lend out her supplies to the random woman from next door. Or I suppose I forgot the third option. That she'd have absolutely no idea who I am, considering she'd probably forgotten our meeting anyway, and I'd just be stood there awkwardly blabbering that we'd met briefly the night before and now I was here to ask for a favour.

Either way, I was about to find out.

My breath momentarily hitched in my throat as she opened the door. But I was surprised to see her lips immediately break into a smile as her eyes met mine, causing my stomach to ride a rollercoaster than the rest of my body wasn't invited on.

"Johanna." She chirped, without hesitation. I mentally squealed at the fact she'd remembered my name. And I couldn't help but notice how nice it sounded coming from her lips. She was dressed in red pyjama pants with an oversized black jumper, her hair hanging down loosely and cascading past her shoulders to rest just over her chest. She looked adorable. And young. She was definitely a good couple of years younger than me. "Come in. Excuse the mess."

I murmured a shy thank you and walked into her flat as she held the door open. There were unpacked boxes all over the place and piles of her things in various positions around the main room. I smiled as I saw the partly eaten pizza in the delivery box and the half drank bottles of beer on the side table. I liked her already.

It was ridiculous how my body was reacting to just being around her. The blood seemed to be pumping through my veins at ten times its usual rate, my hands were practically trembling and my stomach seemed to be trapped on that rollercoaster and forced to replay the loop-de-loop.

She gestured for me to head over to where she'd obviously been sat watching the television, although she was probably at a loss for why the hell I was standing in her home and still hadn't explained why. I turned to face her as I reached her couch and smiled again.

"I'm sorry for bothering you." I tried to sound as casual as possible, despite the sudden dryness in my throat and the abnormal rate at which my heart was beating_._ But I'm pretty sure I'd given nothing away.

"Don't be! I'm not exactly doing anything important." We both giggled as we glanced over at her set up on the couch and then to the reality TV show which was on pause. Her laugh was adorable. It was young and had this tone of something resembling innocence, yet there was a husk to it. Her smile that accompanied it was almost the exact visual to the sound. It almost managed to sweeten the very air in my lungs, it was so pure and contagious I was sure it could warm even the coldest of hearts. Yet there was a hint of something else across her lips. There was something almost teasing, something enticing, about her smile. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part.

"I ended up getting pretty drunk last night and slept for the entire day. I've literally just woken up and I have mounds of paperwork that needs to be done for Monday, but I'm feeling pretty worse for wear and need at least five mugs of coffee to keep me awake for the next few hours. But I've ran out of milk and I know this is a bit weird of me to ask but I was wondering if you maybe had any spare that I could borrow?" I inhaled fresh air almost desperately. I could have kicked myself for not just going with, _'I was just hoping you had some milk I could use for my coffee,' _instead of babbling out an unnecessary long explanation.

I couldn't help but blush as the brunette laughed. This was the second time, out of only two encounters, that the other girl had made me blush. She raised her eyebrow almost playfully as she headed over to her fridge and took out a half pint of milk. "It's not weird at all." She reassured me. "Although, it's alright, you don't need to give me it back."

I think my cheeks flushed a darker shade of crimson as I realised her insinuation. I'd asked if I could _borrow_ some milk. _Borrow. _I mentally kicked myself, twice. Once for saying that in the first place and once for so painfully obviously letting the girl see the effect she was having over me. Why the fuck was I blushing? Nobody ever made me blush.

I noticed that hint of a tease across her lips as she smiled again. Maybe it hadn't just been wishful thinking. Maybe she was flirting a little.

I laughed as casually as I possibly could and cleared my throat as she passed the milk into my hand.

"Are you sure it's ok for me to_ have_ this?" We both smirked.

"I'm sure." She smiled genuinely. "I have a whole other pint anyway."

Our eyes locked for a few beats as a silence filled the room. But it wasn't awkward, or uncomfortable. I drank up the sparkle of her grey eyes before I flicked my gaze over her face, noticing the light but ever so slightly noticeable freckles which were dotted over her nose. I reactively licked my own lips as I noticed the slight natural parting between her own pink lips.

I darted my eyes down when I realised if I waited any longer she might become conscious of the fact I was imaging what it would be like to kiss her. Straight girls usually knew right away when I wanted them. Not so much because of how I acted, but just because of how I looked when I was out in a bar or a club. And the fact I'd offer to buy them a drink or invite them for another drink back at my place pretty much gave away my game. But right now, with me looking like this, I suppose there was nothing that gave me away. Besides, Katniss was different. I wasn't my usual self around her. I was some blushing, blabbering idiot who spent more time just staring at her than actually talking to her. If I'd been planning on coming over here and making some great impression on her, with the aim to draw her towards me, and either sweeping her off of her feet or at least getting to know her as a friend, I was pretty confident I'd failed miserably.

"So, what made you move here?" I questioned, in attempt to recover my failure of an impression. My eyes followed the presumablyyounger woman as she sat on the arm of the couch. We were pretty close to each other, but I think I was doing pretty well at not giving away the effect she was having over me. She seemed oblivious anyway.

"I've just got a job around here. Assistant manager in the book store just around the corner."

"Seriously? That's literally just over the road from my shop! I work in the record store." Katniss' eyes widened and she quickly removed her beer bottle from her lips, clearly excited by my response.

"No way! I was planning on checking that out sometime this week." She brushed away a piece of hair which had fallen to cover her cheek and quickly drank another mouthful of her beer. I'd been so mesmerised by her appearance alone that I hadn't even began to imagine that she'd be into similar things to me. I couldn't contain the smile which my lips had formed. There was clearly more to the girl next door than meets the eye - as if that wasn't enough on its own. But I was definitely more than excited to find out more about her. And now I had some kind of an excuse to see her again if she came into my work. I sighed internally with relief, perhaps I hadn't blown it then. You never know, maybe I was even in with a chance. "My Mom bought me such a beautiful record player last Christmas, so I wanted to get a few vinyls. You can recommend some good ones then."

I nodded and bit against my lower lip to suppress the grin which was threatening to spread. I opened my mouth to tell her about some of the limited edition records we had, and that I'd be more than happy to let her have a few if she liked them, when I heard the sound of a door opening and then closing from behind me. I turned around to see a tall, handsome guy with dark hair standing there in nothing but a towel. It was strange, how the roller coaster that my stomach had been on before seemed to change from a loop to a sudden death drop. The hopeI'd just been beginning to feel had been ripped away from me, almost embarrassingly, leaving me more at a loss than I'd been before I came. How ridiculous of me to think that I had any kind of chance with a girl like Katniss. Just because she wasn't in a hurry for me to leave didn't mean she was feeling anything remotely similar to what I was feeling. Whatever that even was.

Of course she had a boyfriend. And of course he was good looking. It was naive of me to think a girl like her would even be single, never mind gay.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know we had company." The man smirked. He looked slightly older than Katniss, but similarly he was gorgeous. Just my luck. And the fact that he was stood there dripping wet in just a towel, put scenarios in my head that I did not want to imagine Katniss taking part in. It's fair to say I was more than a little jealous. But the sinking feeling in my stomach was different to any kind of jealousy I'd felt before. It was more like a searing disappointment. And it had hit me with the force of a crashing wave against a rock. An initial sting followed by an inescapable drowning feeling.

"Gale-" Katniss began to respond, probably introducing the two of us, or telling him to go and wait for her in the bedroom whilst she got rid of me. How embarrassing.

"No, I'm sorry!" I interrupted as I headed swiftly over to the door; I turned the handle and opened the door, turning back around before I left so I didn't seem completely rude as well as a bit strange. "Thank you so much for the milk, Katniss." I cleared my throat and turned to leave. "Enjoy your night."

* * *

**A/N:** I felt like writing something completely different from my last story, then this idea came into my head and so I've decided to give it a go.

Many more chapters to come!

Thank you for reading :)


	2. Chapter 2

I sighed in relief as I finally made it home, kicking the door shut behind me and throwing two of my heavy bags against the counter. I placed my third bag down carefully beside them so that I didn't smash the bottle of wine I'd bought. I'd gotten through some of my workload last night when I'd recovered from my awkward encounter with the girl next door, and I'd done a little more this morning, but it was Sunday night and I still had a tonne of paperwork to do. So wine would definitely be needed.

Although I appreciate sleeping in of a morning, I'm not one of those people who could spend the entire day shut up inside. I'd needed to get out in the fresh air before I went stir crazy. And considering there was barely any food in for the week, I'd decided to pop for some supplies.

After my visit to Katniss' flat and my discovering that she in fact had a painfully handsome boyfriend, I'd decided I needed to get a grip and shake any hopes I'd been having about me and the other woman. No matter how incredible her effect over me had been, that effect was most definitely one sided. She was clearly as straight as a ruler.

I liked a challenge, yes. And in fact, on frequent occasions straight girls had actually turned out to be, let's just say more than a little curious. But I didn't do girls with boyfriends. I'd tried that once before and besides the guilt and the incredibly awkward conversation when the boyfriend turns up demanding what I'm able to do to his girlfriend that he can't do – I had to remember to think of myself too. Straight girls could be pretty evil like that. They'd act as though they had no idea what they were doing, that they'd been innocently swept under your charm and tempted over to the other side, almost forced to taste the forbidden fruit. But really, they knew exactly what they were doing. That had been the case in my experience anyway.

Alli, her name was. And she'd had a fucking field day with me. Experimenting with me like I was some exciting new toy that she could try out and then drop whenever she wanted to. She'd been sleeping with me because her boyfriend, like most men, didn't have any idea what to do other than plunge himself in and out of her repeatedly. That first night had been fun. It had been a lot of fun actually. I suppose one night stands, in that sense, were fine. No one else had to know, and no one else, nor either of us, had to get hurt.

But she'd got hooked. And admittedly so had I. She'd come back to me several times. She'd turn up every night and throw herself against me, desperate for an actual release, one that her other half couldn't quite provide. Grinding herself so hard against me she'd leave bruises. Digging her fingernails so hard into my back she'd leave light trails of blood in her wake. Biting her teeth so hard at my shoulders she'd leave dents in the skin. And breathing my name out so loud and so repeatedly, you'd swear 'Johanna' was the only name she knew.

It was as if only the two of us existed in those moments, in our little bubble. But bubbles pop just as easily as they are created.

She could still have that perfect little normal life. She still had someone to cuddle up to for the evening, but she still had me as her guilty pleasure. I was her dirty little secret.

And then when he'd found out, she'd easily been able to pass the blame onto me. Of course she had. I was the lesbian, so of course I'd been the temptress. Of course I'd corrupted her and she'd been apparently unable to do anything to escape my grasp. She'd been an innocent pawn in my game. And just as quickly as she'd come, she was gone.

I shuddered at the painful memory. No. It just didn't work. It was too complicated. And I'd had one bad experience too many.

But anyway, it wasn't exactly like I wanted to settle down. I'd never even lived with any of my girlfriends. And the thought of marriage made my head spin. But maybe that was just because I hadn't met the right person yet. I guess when that person came along and I finally felt ready. I'd just know. That's what my Mom told me anyway. She said that I'd meet someone who made the thought of ever being able to live again without them impossible. That my happiness would be dependent on their happiness. And my heart, along with every other part of my body that would become affected by their presence, would tell me when that time came.

I began to unpack the contents of my bags and put all of my shopping away. It was around about dinner time and I wanted to make a start on my paperwork as soon as possible. That way I could order takeaway by about nine this evening. No awards for healthy eating, but hey, it's not like I exactly had anyone to impress. I knew Cassie would still be attracted to me if I was balding and wore a bin bag every day.

I popped my wine in the fridge and packed away my last few bits and pieces of shopping, then poured some salted peanuts into a bowl. I was about to go and make a quick start on my work when I noticed the extra pint of milk I'd bought, still stood in its plastic bag on the counter. The all too recently similar wave of nerves once again crashed over me.

I don't really know what I was thinking. Part of me almost never wanted to see Katniss again. The effect she had over me was just too much for me to handle. It was brand new territory for me, so I didn't know how to act. But part of me wanted to be around her, no matter how tortured that made me feel. It was the sweetest form of torture I could imagine having to endure, at least.

I guess she was like a drug. I knew she was bad for me. But after that first hit, as small as it may have been – I was hooked. As bad as I knew she may be for me in the long run, I was already craving more. And the only justification I could think of for seeing her again was to call round and replace the milk I'd borrowed. Pathetic, I know. But even if it was only her friendship I could acquire, the torment would be worth it for the rush of adrenalin my body felt just from being around her.

...

Katniss' eyebrows narrowed together in a momentary frown as she opened the door and met my own figure standing in front of her holding a pint of milk. Her frown softened and she chuckled as I stretched out my arm, holding the milk in front of her in offering.

My cheeks flushed slightly. "I'm sorry to bother you and your boyfriend at this time." I cleared my throat and flashed a laid-back smile. "I'm just returning the milk you lent me yesterday."

She took her bottom lip between her teeth as she took the pint from me. "Come in." She stepped back and opened the door completely in gesture for me to walk in, turning around and walking into her apartment as I stepped inside. She was wearing pyjama shorts and a black t shirt, her hair in a loose braid down her back. I closed the door behind myself and followed her towards her kitchen as she spoke, trying hard to avoid settling my gaze on her exposed legs.

"You didn't need to get me this, Johanna." She insisted as she placed the milk I'd brought her inside her fridge. I hovered slightly awkwardly besides her couch but folded my arms across my chest and tried to look as unfazed as I could as she glanced over at me. She chuckled. "Sit down."

It was intimidating, how confident she was. Not that confidence would normally intimidate me. But I was used to being the dominant, self assured and almost over confident person out of any of my relationships, whether they be friendship or more. I'd actually been compared to a stone in the past. A tough exterior, as well as a tough inside. I don't really express my feelings, because I don't really have many. And no one had ever really cracked me. But with Katniss, she somehow she'd managed to turn me into a little schoolgirl with a crush. Considering we hadn't really gotten to know each other yet, she was probably completely unaware that my actions around her were abnormal. I suppose that was a good thing. But I don't know how I was supposed to charm her, like I'd done to so many other girls, if I could barely string a sentence together without blushing.

Her apartment looked much more homely compared to the night before. There were no cardboard boxes dotted around this time and it looked like she'd spent the day unpacking all of her things and adding her own little touches to the place. There were cushions on the couches, a few photos on the sides and a big clock on the wall above the tv. To be honest, her apartment looked even more homely than mine. I wasn't really one for photographs and decorations. I kept my place really simple. But I couldn't deny that the touch of character

I sat on one of her two couches and watched as she bustled about pouring crisps into a bowl and popping the tops from two beers. I shuffled, unsure at whether the woman had assumed I was able to stay for a little while or was preparing the food and drink for when her boyfriend, Gale I think he was called, decided to emerge from the shower again.

"Oh and he's my cousin by the way."

I don't know whether she'd noticed my fidgeting or was just referring back to my words before. It obviously must have been the latter, but it seemed as though she'd read my mind or something. I narrowed my eyes in an attempt to hide their widening and bit against my lip to suppress a smile. She walked over to me and handed me a beer nonchalantly, before sitting down on the other couch and placing the bowl of crisps on a small table. I continued to crinkle my forehead and chew against my lower lip, determined not to reveal the strange and overwhelming feelings of elation I was feeling in that moment. My attempt at appearing confused must have worked because she continued.

"Gale." She took a swig from her beer. "He's not my boyfriend. He's my cousin."

I silently cursed myself for how ridiculous I must have looked last night when I'd assumed he was her boyfriend and ran out before he'd even had a chance to introduce himself. I must have looked like such an idiot.

I nodded carelessly and offered a small smile with a quirk of my eyebrow, copying her action and drinking from my bottle. We settled into a comfortable silence for a moment. A silence which I was thankful for as it gave me a few beats to compose myself after her confession. Gale wasn't her boyfriend. She might not even have a boyfriend. She could even be gay. Or at least open for suggestion.

I knew that was just wishful thinking on my part, though. Whether she had a boyfriend or not, it didn't really change anything I suppose. Someone as flawless as Katniss wasn't exactly going to go for some random girl from next door who kept turning up uninvited and making an idiot out of herself.

I couldn't voice any of the whirlwind of thoughts which were blurring around my head, but I realised the prolonging silence was growing thick. I leaned forward and grabbed a handful of the crisps which Katniss had laid out, tossing a few into my mouth before I spoke.

"So when do you start work at the bookstore?" I swallowed the last of my handful of crisps and took another drink of my beer. Katniss shuffled from her position and leant back against the couch, bringing her knees up and resting her beer on one. She was so effortlessly beautiful it was almost making my head spin. I'd only met her two days ago and now I was sitting in her living room with her like this, drinking beer with her dressed in her pyjama shorts and treating my presence in her flat so normally. That had to count for something.

"Tomorrow."

"Shit sorry, do you want me to leave?"

She rolled her eyes. "If I wanted you to leave I wouldn't have welcomed you in and gotten you a beer, would I?" I flickered my eyes downwards momentarily. "Honestly you don't need to act so tentative around me. I promise I don't bite." She chuckled as she spoke and I couldn't suppress the light flush which covered my cheeks. I dragged my gaze up to meet hers and let a small, but clearly embarrassed giggle fall from my lips. Our eyes locked for a small moment and I don't think she realised she was doing it but she rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, kind of contradicting her previous statement and unintentionally causing my eyes to linger for a moment too long on her lips.

"How long have you worked at Vinny's for?" I tore my gaze from her lips as she spoke.

"Umm, I worked there for just over a year and then about 6 months ago I became co-manager."

"Do you like it?" She asked, seeming to be genuinely interested.

"I love it." I answered with a small smile which Katniss returned. She leant forward and placed her now empty beer bottle down on the table before returning to her previous position with her knees in front of her. "I've always loved music. Especially old records. So I applied at Vinny's when I first moved here a couple of years back and then things just went from there."

"I love music, too. That's actually kind of how I came to move here." I raised my eyebrows. Half with surprise and half with intrigue. There was nothing that attracted me more than a girl who liked her music. The corners of her mouth upturned into a smile. "I came to a gig round here to write a review for the magazine I used to intern for. I saw the bookstore needed an assistant manager, so I applied."

"So you're a bookworm?"

She mirrored my grin. "You could say that."

...

We ended up talking for a little over an hour before I'd realised how long we'd been sat in her living room for. We'd gone through a couple of beers each and settled so comfortably into each other's company it hadn't even felt like I'd been there for longer than twenty minutes. It was crazy how well I felt like I knew her now, and how well she now knew me. It wasn't often that I'd open up to anybody, especially not someone I hadn't even known for a week. But something about the other woman just made me feel at ease.

She'd told me about how her father had passed in an accident at work when she was quite young, and how her mother had pretty much shut off from the world with depression. It sounded like she'd been through a lot, but Katniss didn't look sad as she told me about her past, she seemed positive and explained how it had forced her to grow up and make her a stronger person. She'd had no choice but to pick up the pieces. She'd had to for her little sister, Primrose. She'd basically brought her up despite not even being an adult herself. Katniss hadn't minded that though. I could tell how much she cared for her sister just by the smile across her face when she spoke about her. It sounded like they were really close.

Their mom was apparently doing a lot better now and Primrose had grown into an independent young woman now anyway. So Katniss had finally decided to take the next step and move out.

I found out that I was right and Katniss was a few years younger than myself. She was doing well for herself at twenty one, living in her own flat and starting a new job as an assistant manager. The more I'd gotten to know her, the more I'd not only liked her, but admired her. It took a lot for me to admire someone, but beyond her fucking flawless complexion she was really a pretty amazing woman. I had no idea what she thought about me, but I'd managed to make her laugh a few times and there was a sparkle in her grey eyes which I'd like to think I'd put there.

...

"Honestly, don't be a stranger." Katniss insisted as she followed me over to the door. "I don't exactly have many friends around here. And your company doesn't suck." She laughed as she spoke, but the husk of her voice was still evident and the look in her eyes was genuine.

I smiled and walked out of the door as she held it open, but turned back around to face her. "Is that your subtle way of inviting me round more?" I smirked as I noticed her eyes flick downwards and the hint of a flush cover her cheeks. She was blushing.

"Shut up." She dragged her gaze back up to meet my own smirking eyes and twiddled with her thumbs as she leant against the doorframe.

"I'll take that as a yes." She was definitely blushing now. I quirked my eyebrow momentarily before my smirk spread across my lips. Katniss couldn't help but mirror my expression.

I felt a rush of warmth travel around my stomach as our eyes locked and Katniss once again took her bottom lip between her teeth, this time to suppress her smirk. It felt like we were flirting, and from the way she was acting it genuinely felt like she was actually a little nervous around me too. Though I guess that was just wishful thinking.

I cleared my throat after a few moments of silence and flashed a final smile as I turned to walk away. "Anyway, thanks for the beers. I'll see you around okay." I voiced my words as casually as I could, trying to act completely unfazed by what had just happened.

"Mmm." She murmured after me. "Maybe in a crazy twist of events I'll turn up uninvited at your place one of these days."

A grin spread across my face as I reached my place and turned back around to where she'd previously been stood in the doorframe, but the door was already closed behind her.

...

The next couple of days passed by with no more encounters between my new neighbour and I. Sunday night had actually been really nice after the initial awkwardness of me turning up with the pathetic excuse of owing the other woman a carton of milk. I suppose that had made her laugh though. Girls like a person who can make them laugh. And despite the initial feeling of having been struck by lightning when I'd seen her, I was enjoying starting to get to know her, even if it was just as a friend. I decided I'd wait for that 'crazy twist of events' and would let her be the one to knock at my door next. At least that way I'd know she wasn't just feeling forced into talking to me.

The weather was still cold and the sky was still dark from dawn to dusk, but I'd started to accustom myself to the change and I was actually beginning to really like the cosiness of the autumn. Monday and Tuesday had been hectic at work, but I was glad for it considering it provided a distraction from the beautiful brunette. Thankfully, the only time she really crossed my mind was when I'd pass her door on the way to and from my flat.

Now I'd finally finished all of the reports and stock take it meant I could leave at half five when the shop closed, and so when Cassie had texted me earlier we'd arranged to go out for something to eat tonight. She was coming to meet me after I'd locked up so we could pop to the Italian right across the road.

Gino's was such an adorable little restaurant tucked away on the corner of the street and it served some of the best Italian dishes I'd tasted. It just so happened that I'd slept with one of the waitresses, Jennifer, too. So sometimes that meant free wine. But definitely not whilst I was there eating with Cassie. Jen would most probably glare until she was sure Cassie felt uncomfortable.

I looked up from locking up the till as the bell above the door pinged. I smiled as the fair haired girl stepped in and chuckled as I checked the clock. Bang on half past five.

"It's absolutely freezing." She declared through chattering teeth as she pulled her long fair hair out from beneath her scarf.

I chuckled as I threw my coat over my shoulder. "You'll be fine in Gino's."

"You look nice." I rolled my eyes at her compliment but smiled nevertheless. I was wearing ripped white jeans, a black blouse, black boots and a black coat. My hair probably looked awful considering I'd barely even brushed it this morning and I was only wearing a scarce layer of makeup. I didn't exactly look my best.

"Don't look too bad yourself." My comment was genuine. The woman stood in front of me actually did manage to look gorgeous all of the time. Her hair was tousled perfectly and cascading over her thick scarf to rest around her chest, her eyelids were smudged with just the right amount of shadow, her lips were coated with a delicate amount of gloss and her mid length skirt and ankle boots were casual but insanely cute. Her lips spread into a bashful smile as I looked her up and down.

I laughed as I walked past her and turned the stores lights off, giving the place a quick glance to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be. As I opened the door a huge gust of wind blew in, sending a chill up my spine and a layer of goose bumps over my skin. "Fuck." I shivered, zipping up my coat.

"I told you." Cassie remarked with a smirk as she walked past me and out onto the street. I knew what she was thinking. She'd always said that thinking I was invincible was one of my most annoying qualities. Like once when we were watching a movie and I'd insisted that I wasn't tired despite the frequent yawns and my drooping eyelids. No matter how many times she'd suggested we go to bed, I'd protested. Until eventually a couple of hours later I'd casually announced that we should head off to bed. It's not that I think I'm invincible, though. I just don't like to go down without a fight.

I followed the other woman out of the door and turned to lock up; fiddling with the keys in the lock and silently deciding what food I was going to get from Gino's. It was definitely between the braised rabbit pappardelle and the lamb tagliata. I tended to alternate between the two dishes whenever I ate there. Or maybe I'd just make Cassie get whichever dish I didn't get and that way I could pick at her meal too. That sounded like the best option.

"Fuck." I gasped as I span around and walked straight into someone, dropping my keys as I did so.

"You really do need to learn to look where you're going before you walk, you know." Katniss bent down and picked up my keys, passing them to me as she stood back up.

Her dark wavy hair was windswept and her cheeks and nose were an adorable shade of crimson from the cold. She was wrapped up in a few layers with a matching set of gloves and a scarf, her arms now wrapped across her chest clutching hold of a couple of books.

I pushed her shoulder playfully and bit against my lip to disguise my embarrassment. The warm feeling she caused in my stomach and on my cheeks almost made me forget how cold it was. Her lips curved into a smirk as our eyes caught contact.

"You know you can just knock at my place if you want to see me, instead of creeping up on me all the time." I replied.

She sniggered and opened her mouth to respond when Cassie cleared her throat semi subtly from just across the pavement. Katniss got the hint and dragged her gaze from my direction and flashed a smile towards the other girl.

"Hey. Cassie, isn't it?"

Cassie took an almost possessive step towards me but turned her lips into what seemed like a genuine smile. "Yeah, hi."

"So how's the bookstore going then?" I swept in, not bothering to wait for any awkward forced conversation between the two, or even worse a lingering silence.

"So good." She secured some of her hair behind her ear. "The manager, Peeta, has been so welcoming which has been amazing. I'm not very good at making friends."

I forced myself to ignore the unnecessary feelings of _jealousy _which pooled in my stomach at the mention of this Peeta guys name, but couldn't suppress my frown at the latter of her sentence. "Are you joking? You're like the easiest person to be around." I felt Cassie tense slightly beside me but I kept my eyes on the brunette who was now smiling shyly. I felt my cheeks warm again and momentarily flicked my gaze to the ground.

It was so strangely indescribable, the sensations I felt when I was around Katniss. It was like there was something lingering in the air that was only around when she was there and I just couldn't shake it. An unusual feeling. One which I had no idea whether she felt too. I'm pretty sure she didn't, because to her I was literally just some girl from next door who she'd spoken to a little. But there was no denying that beyond her initial confidence, the more I'd gotten to know her the more she'd shown she was quite similar to me. The humour and sarcasm, and the awkward bashfulness. She was confusing for me to read.

An almost inaudible sigh from beside me reminded me that Cassie was just stood there waiting for me. I turned my head to face her and smiled slimly as Katniss spoke. "Anyway, I'd best be heading home. I'm starving."

"Yeah we're going to grab something to eat now at our favourite Italian." Cassie replied, nodding her head over in the direction of Gino's.

"Join us if you want?" I felt Cassie's eyes on me as I invited Katniss nonchalantly. Not that I actually wanted her to come. The idea of being sat at a table with both Cassie and Katniss for an hour or so was not something I would like to endure. Never mind if Jennifer happened to be working.

Katniss laughed, somehow almost sensing the awkward atmosphere which had surfaced. "Thanks, but maybe another time, yeah?" Her eyes locked onto mine and I smiled in response. "Have a lovely evening and I'll see you around. Nice to see you, Cassie."

"You too, Katniss." Cassie chirped.

The younger woman flashed me one last smile before she walked past and made her way home.

"Right, come on." I exclaimed casually as I began to cross over the road to Gino's.

"Since when have you two been spending time together?" Cassie didn't seem annoyed, she just seemed genuinely interested. Not that she had a right to be annoyed anyway, but sometimes she could be funny like that. Our relationship wasn't complicated, but I suppose if one of us started seeing somebody else, the other would be left a little bit ditched. But we were friends anyway at the end of the day, so I guess the only thing that would change would be the _benefits._ I guess come to think of it our relationship was slightly confusing, but it worked for us both.

"I've just been round a couple of times, that's all." I tried to dismiss the conversation. I wasn't exactly keen on sharing the details of my pathetic unrequited crush to Cassie. She'd either find it hysterical, or get a little annoyed that I hadn't texted her the past few days and now she'd found out that I'd been spending time with Katniss. Admittedly, I hadn't made any effort to get in touch with Cassie. But it was because of how busy I'd been with work, not because of my new neighbour.

We crossed the road and walked side by side down the sidewalk. "She's pretty."

"Yeah." I murmured. "I guess she is." I pressed my tongue firmly against my cheek, acting as casual as possible. I glanced in Cassie's direction and barged my shoulder into hers as I noticed her giggling. "Fuck off." _Was I that obvious?_

I held the door open and gestured for Cassie to step inside as we reached Gino's. I couldn't help but flutter my eyelids shut for a moment as the ice cold air became warm and my nostrils filled with that familiar aroma of garlic and bread.

Cassie unthreaded her scarf from around her neck and began to unbutton her coat as she walked through the door and into the quiet restaurant. "She likes you."

I quirked my eyebrow and scoffed as I walked in behind Cassie. "Don't be ridiculous. She's straight."

"Like that's stopped you before." Cassie retorted. I shot her a glare. "She basically asked you out."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

_"Maybe another time, yeah?"_ Cassie mimicked in a high pitched voice, repeating Katniss' words from before.

"She sounds absolutely nothing like that. And that was not her _asking me out_. Don't be ridiculous."

Cassie sighed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Jo. I know how to tell when a girl likes you. I've been the bystander many times." I smirked at her words. She was right. There'd been so many times the two of us would be out at a club and I'd see a girl who I'd either been on a date with or slept with. Cassie would just be stood on the sidelines trying to act busy whilst the girl shamelessly flirted with me despite the fact I was clearly there with another woman. But this wasn't anything like that. Katniss was my fucking neighbour.

A waiter sat us at a table and shuffled off, giving us a few moments to look at the menu. I didn't even open mine considering I knew what I was getting, I'd decided on the lamb, so I spent the time pondering over a certain brunette.

I couldn't work out whether there was actually some truth in Cassie's words. I mean, the other night had definitely turned out slightly flirtatious towards the end. But I have no idea whether that was just me, and Katniss was just being friendly and having a laugh. It was hard to tell when a girl was actually just straight. Like genuinely uninterested in anything remotely sexual with another girl. The concept was alien to me, so I guess I'd never really understood the boundaries. I mean, I obviously had straight friends, but that was different because I didn't feel anything more than friendship towards them. But with Katniss - I guess my judgement was clouded by my own desires.

She'd made no mention of having a boyfriend, and considering the depth she'd gone into about her family and her past, I'd assume she would have mentioned him if she had one. But just because she didn't have a boyfriend didn't mean she'd be interested in me like that anyway. She'd just moved into a new flat in a new town. It was more than likely she was just being nice to her neighbour so she could secure herself at least one friend around here. I laughed silently at the ridiculousness of all the thoughts I'd been having. I was definitely reading into this too much. She'd probably be traumatised and run a mile if she could read my thoughts.

I swigged down a gulp of the house wine which the waiter had brought over to us and exhaled a sigh of contentment as I felt the liquid travel fast down my throat and warm every inch of my stomach. I watched as Cassie mirrored my action and dragged her tongue slowly across her bottom lip after she'd taken a swig of the wine. I bit against my lip momentarily and gulped down more of the liquid.

"Stay at my place tonight?" It was half a question, half a demand. But I knew the answer already. Cassie nodded and smiled somewhat devilishly.

I suppose I could work out this built up frustration on the attractive fair haired woman sat opposite me. After all, that's what friends with benefits are for.

* * *

**A/N: **Ok so I have a tonne of excuses as to why this update took me so painfully long to post, but I won't bore you by listing them all. I hope you're enjoying it and I promise that the next chapter won't take nearly as long!

Thank you for reading and reviewing.


End file.
